Love really does find you when you’re not actively looking for or trying to grasp it! I’ve met someone while just hanging out and being myself on the MUD. We’ve been talking, spending hours together on the game and phone. We seem to click–to understand each other well. I feel safe with him but also feel excited about getting to know him too. I like that combination.

Until about a year ago, I didn’t think I deserved the best and that I needed to accept that I couldn’t ever be wanted as someone’s first choice for a partner. My ex-husband told me once that I wouldn’t ever be someone’s version of their dream girl and that I’m the kind of person that a man settles with when he gives up on getting what he really wants. That cut me so deeply that it was almost a mortal wound. Something died that day or at least went into a coma. That part of me that was gone is being gently touched and stirred back into existance, enough so that hope and desire are waking in my heart. I’ve always wanted to date someone who shares my interests–someone I can have fun with as friends. I passed up some other offers of relationships recently because these men were nice but didn’t share my interests and values. This guy does. We like to read the same kinds of books, like a lot of the same music, have the same ideas about reaching goals, and have a similar world view. He has a style that I really like. He’s direct and honest without crossing the line into blunt cruelty. He knows how to cook and clean and isn’t looking for a maid. He’s looking for a partner. I really like that. I’d be happy making dinner for him every night when he’s working, knowing that it would make things easier for him. But he’d do the same for me if I was working a crazy schedule.

Another thing that I like is that he doesn’t try to do things to make me choose between my daughter and him. He understands that my responsibilities to her are important and take precedence in my life. If we marry, the mix would change a bit so that my marriage would be my priority in order to nurture my daughter with a happy and stable home life.

I feel like we’re equals in this relationship–that we can be a team. That is so different from my marriage where my husband was older and was usually in charge. I think I can relax with this guy and not feel like I’m walking on egg shells most of the time. More than that, I think it’s safe to laugh, play, dream, and love with him. I’ve never felt this way about anyone, but I find myself wanting to sing a soft love song in his ear, only for him to hear. I also want to sing a song of happiness that the whole world can hear. I feel like the first tentative shoot of a flower that is reaching for the sunlight after a long, hard winter of ice. I want to give my heart to him, and I think he’d be gentle and careful with it. I hope I’m right about that.

I know I can get hurt again if he’s not what he seems. I also know that I can survive the hurt if it comes–that I have the strength to make it through because I can count on God for anything I don’t have and need. So the risk isn’t like walking on a highwire without a net. I’ve got the best net a person could ever want. It will not fail me.

This man was worth waiting for and is worth any risks involved.